Being Intentional in Our Relationship with God

Recently I was having a conversation with someone about spending time with God. After our conversation, I kept thinking about why being intentional about spending time with God is so difficult for so many of us. I think we would all admit to having seasons where our time with God felt more like a chore than an intimate connection with a living God. Maybe we still have our time with God but at times show up out of guilt or because we are afraid not to do so. Or we might not show up at all, feeling like it is just wasted time. I am sure there are more ways we can fail in this area, but these are a few I have noticed in my conversations with people.

If you see yourself in any of the descriptions above, my first question to you would be, “Do you know why it is important to be intentional in your time with God?” If not, that is a good place to begin. 

It is very difficult to know someone if you don’t spend time getting to know them. The same is true in our relationship with God. Spending time with God is the only way we can deepen our relationship with Him. It is also important to remember a deep relationship doesn’t happen immediately. It takes time. It means showing up and being intentional. It is easy to become discouraged when we walk through a season where we don’t feel so near to God as we may have at one point in time. I have found that in those seasons, it is so important that I continue to come to God, bringing my discouragement to Him, as well as owning any responsibility I may have in the distance I may feel. When I reflect on the seasons that God feels far away, I am reminded that He never was the one to remove Himself. I have either withheld myself from Him, or I have placed a higher value on something else over Him. 

In John 15:4-5 Jesus talks about the importance of abiding in Him. At the same time, He emphasizes the fact that it is a mutual relationship. We abide in Him and He abides in us. This shows a continual connection, but also shows that it is a choice. We choose to actively abide, it doesn’t happen on its own. As we abide in Him, we bear fruit. We cannot do good for the kingdom of God if we are not actively connected and abiding in Jesus.

You may be asking yourself, “So what does it look like to abide?” What comes to mind for me when I think of abiding is spending time in prayer and reading God’s Word. It is through reading God’s Word that we can learn more about who God is and what He had done for others. It is also the way we know how God wants His children to live their lives. 

For the word of God is living and effective and sharper than any double-edged sword, penetrating as far as the separation of soul and spirit, joints and marrow. It is able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart. -Hebrews 4:12

I love this verse in Hebrews. It holds so much about why spending time in God’s words is so important. God’s Word has a way of exposing what is in our hearts and showing us what our spiritual condition is. The more time we spend in His Word the more aware we become of the areas in our lives that need to change. Especially when we come to the Word allowing the Holy Spirit to speak through the Word of God. 

The Word of God is living and powerful. It isn’t a collection of dusty stories that hold no relevance to our lives today. Instead, it is alive and able to bring life to anyone who will receive it with faith. The sharpness of it can reach us with precision, and the Holy Spirit enables the ministry of God’s Word to work deeply in our hearts.

Ultimately, this is why our relationship with God is so important. It is through spending time with God that our hearts are molded into a shape that looks more like His. He draws us closer to Him, and as we get closer, we will desire Him more. 

My prayer is that each one, no matter what your time with God looks like right now, would be encouraged to be intentional with it. Our relationship with God is the most important relationship you will ever invest in, but too often it is the one we think the least about. Take the time to invest in your relationship with God. Show up ready to pray and learn from His Word. I won’t promise that it will be easy, but I do promise that you won’t regret it!

Striving to Trust

There are quite a few verses in the Bible that talk about trusting in the Lord. When the circumstances of life are going as planned, it doesn’t feel too difficult to trust. But when the circumstances are difficult or are wildly different than expected, trust feels a bit different and maybe even impossible.

It is moments like these that the devil likes to use to shake our trust in our Heavenly Father, the one who provides for all our needs. The devil will happily try to convince us that the power of Christ in us is not enough to overcome whatever it is that we are facing. He will tell us that we can trust ourselves better than anyone else. Why is it so easy for us to accept these lies provided by our enemy?

We are naturally bent toward trusting ourselves. We like to grasp on to any area we think we have some level of control over. So when the devil so nicely provides a narrative that lines up with what we lean towards, it is easier for us to accept it as believable. Our lack of trust points to a lack of belief in the goodness of God. We don’t trust that He truly holds what is best for us.

I want to lean into why it matters where we place our trust. Trusting God is essential because it is through trusting Him we receive peace, joy, and strength to endure whatever life may hold. When we trust ourselves more than we trust God, we choose what we see as the safer and less vulnerable option. But what the devil doesn’t tell us is that when we trust in ourselves we carry the full weight of the burden alone. We alone need to face our circumstances because we are unwilling to release them to God.

You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you. Trust in the LORD forever, for the LORD, the LORD himself, is the Rock eternal. -Isaiah 26:3-4

These verses are so encouraging for those who struggle to trust God. God promises that perfect peace is available. Not only is it available to us, but we can also be kept there. In Hebrew, the term is actually shalom shalom which means perfect peace. Repetition in Hebrew shows intensity, hence perfect peace. Those whose minds are steadfast, or as other translations say, stayed or settled on God, are kept in perfect peace. There is something so comforting to know that perfect peace follows the trust we place in God. The source of perfect peace is God alone. It is another reminder that it matters what our thoughts are and where our focus is placed. 

Trusting God is not a once and done deal. It is a daily, sometimes hourly choice. It means consciously placing my circumstances into God’s hands, releasing the grip on how we think things need to turn out. It requires vigilance because we so often like to take back from God what we have previously surrendered. Only in trusting God do we receive true freedom. Real trust happens when we stop trying to force our circumstances to be what we long for them to become and lean into God, trusting He knows what is best. 

When the circumstances of life are different than expected, it is then we need to remember that we have a choice. We can choose to carry these burdens on alone and feel their heavyweight. Or we can bring them to the Father, and rest in the peace He gives when we do so. The choice is ours alone.

Effective and Consistent Prayer

 What keeps you from praying? Is it because it feels like the thing you have continually brought to the Lord is not being answered? Or maybe it is because all you hear from God is a big nothing? Or it could be because although we know it is important and holds a lot of power, we just haven’t seen or felt that recently, so what is the point?

I have felt all of these things at one time or another. More often for me, my reasons for not praying is because I don’t want to allow God into whatever I am thinking or feeling about a given circumstance, or I feel unheard. Recently I wrote a post about the importance of prayer. I have seen how important prayer is, but I have also felt the sting of seemingly unanswered prayers. I have felt in times past that prayer wasn’t as powerful or as effective for me as I saw it was for others. That is what I want to talk about here.

I have been reading through the Gospels each month here at the beginning of the year. What I love so much about this is you see the different perspectives and writing styles of the writers. You see what they focus on, and there is something so refreshing about reading the same things back to back each month. Last month as I was reading in Mark, these verses stuck out to me.

Luke 18:1-8 (CSB): Now he told them a parable on the need for them to pray always and not give up. 2 “There was a judge in a certain town who didn’t fear God or respect people. 3 And a widow in that town kept coming to him, saying, ‘Give me justice against my adversary.’ 4 “For a while he was unwilling, but later he said to himself, ‘Even though I don’t fear God or respect people, 5 yet because this widow keeps pestering me, I will give her justice so that she doesn’t wear me out by her persistent coming.’” 6 Then the Lord said, “Listen to what the unjust judge says. 7 Will not God grant justice to His elect who cry out to him day and night? Will he delay helping them? 8 I tell you that he will swiftly grant them justice. Nevertheless, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on earth?”

The part that got my attention was His reasons for telling the parable. He told them the parable so they would see the need for them to pray and not give up. I related to that deeply. How many times do I have good intentions of praying for someone or a situation, but when I feel like I have prayed and prayed but nothing seems to change or happen, I give up? More than I would like to admit.

What gets in the way of effective and consistent prayer? Why do we so often give up and lose heart? Obstacles often get in our way, and Jesus knew we needed to be taught and encouraged to be constant but also effective in our prayers.

Prayer is hard work, and we often approach it with too light of an approach. In this parable, we see a woman continually returning to the judge for justice. He grants it to her because he saw the woman would continually persist until she received the justice she wished to receive. I believe we can get discouraged when it feels like what we have been bringing to God is not changing or it feels like He is not working in the situation. I understand this. But we need to remember His timing is perfect, and so many times the way He answers our prayers are not in the ways we would expect. That can be a difficult truth to face. When we are able to trust who God says He is, and trust in His character and what He has done in the past, it becomes a bit easier to continually bring what we are asking with open hands and trust that He knows what is best. That doesn’t mean we never get discouraged or want to give up, it just means when we feel those things we bring that to Him as well. He will hold us up in those moments, and give us the strength to continue.

Another thing we need to remember is that prayer is powerful, and the Devil does not like that much at all. We should not be surprised to face resistance when we pray. I also think we forget the power of prayer. Too often prayer is our last resort instead of our first resource.

In the last month, God has been moving and working in some aspects of my life, but not in ways that I expected. I had a friend point out to me that we have been praying for God to move and work in these areas, and though it may not look the way we imagined, does not mean it isn’t an answer to prayer. That can be difficult to sit with, but I am certain that there are times we miss answers to prayer because we only expect it to be a certain way.

The God we serve is kind, He is just, and He is good. He is faithful to what He says He will do. He cares about our situations and desires to work in and through them. Often that means continually showing up in prayer about what is going on in our lives and surrendering what we think should happen to Him. It means being patient even when it feels like He is silent, trusting that He is working and does deeply care about our circumstances. Beauty does come out of those difficult and painful seasons, even if we don’t see that right here or right now. Be vulnerable with God. Be willing to surrender to Him. He is faithful, you only need to trust Him.

“Any concern too small to be turned into a prayer is too small to be made into a burden.” 
– Corrie Ten Boom

Unsettled by Worry

 What comes to mind when you think about worry? Do you think about the thoughts continually swirling in your mind, never settling down? Or maybe it’s a situation that never seems to be resolved? Regardless of what comes to mind when you think about worry, most likely you know how it feels to be unsettled by worry.

At the core of worry, fear, or the what-ifs is my unwillingness to wait on God. Unwillingness to wait in prayer, wait on His timing, or to wait for His provisions. I can feel so impatient with God, wanting things to happen when I think they should. But I have been reminded time after time, that God’s timing is always better than my own. Better than if I try to force something to happen in what I think to be the best timing.

Corrie Ten Boom said, “Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow. It empties today of its strength.”  I find this to be so true. Worrying about something never helped to resolve the situation in any way. In fact, the time I spend on worry depletes my ability to trust in God. When I worry, I am looking to myself to supply whatever it is I am seeking. When in fact, God is the only one who can truly supply my needs.

So how do we combat worry?

6 Don’t worry about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.
–Philippians 4:6-7 (CSB)

When I read these verses, the first thing I notice is that I am not supposed to worry. This is not an option, but a command. When I worry, I intrude on an arena that belongs to God alone. Instead, I can take every worry, every situation or circumstance, EVERYTHING to God in prayer. God cares about all aspects of our lives.

The second thing I notice is that we are to bring everything with thanksgiving. This guards against us bringing everything to Him in a whining, complaining spirit when we come before Him. When we bring things with thanksgiving, the focus is shifted from us to Him. 

The third and final thing I notice is the peace of God that surpasses all understanding, will guard our hearts and minds. When we bring everything to Him, surrendering to what He desires to do in our situation and circumstances, we can rest in that peace that passes all understanding. There is truly nothing like that peace. It is readily available to us, all we need to do is rely fully on the Lord.

The verses in Philippians are such a good reminder to continually bring my cares to the Lord. It can be so easy to worry without much thought. But how much better do I feel when I intentionally cast my burdens on Him. 

Another verse that comes to mind is the one in 1 Peter 5:6-7 CSB:

6 Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God, so that he may exalt you at the proper time, 7 casting all your cares on him, 

When we bring our cares to Him, we are showing humility. It is a proud presumption to bring upon ourselves the things God has already promised to take care of. Let the swirling thoughts, the worry you feel, the cares you carry lead you to Christ. Allow them to usher you before the One who willingly will help you carry each burden you bear. 

So next time you lie awake in bed, worrying about that situation with thoughts swirling wildly in your mind, remember you have a choice. You can stay in that cycle of worry, or you can choose to cast your worries on the Lord. In doing so, it may not (most likely won’t) change anything about your circumstances, but it can change your outlook on your circumstances. And that, my friend, can make all the difference. 

Importance of Prayer

Few of us would deny the importance of prayer. But knowing how to pray or even where to begin deepening the prayer life you already have, can be difficult.

God calls us to pray. By praying, we are obeying what He has called us to do. Prayer is the way we communicate with our Father. When we pray, we worship and praise Him. It enables us to offer confession for our sins, which should lead to repentance. Additionally, it grants us the opportunity to bring our requests to Him.

Christ modeled prayer for us throughout his ministry on earth. It was His lifeline and connection to His Father. He prayed on His own (Luke 5:16, Luke 6:12), with others (Luke 9:28), and for others (Matthew 19:13-14). It was an essential part of every day and equipped Him to face each day.

In the last several years, I felt God moving in me to deepen my prayer life. I wasn’t sure how to go about it, but I came across Val Marie Paper‘s prayer journal through someone I follow on Instagram. I tried out the six-month journal they offer, and really enjoyed it. I could see how having a specific place to write down my prayer requests for the month would be helpful for me. I love that the journal was split into sections for adoration, scripture, world and nation, my church, personal, and God answers, to name a few. I decided to spend the money to pre-order the yearly prayer journal, and have not looked back. It has the same sections as the six-month journal, but also offers space for gratitude and written prayers. 

Starting out was hard. I don’t say that to discourage you, but so you know that is normal. But it became easier as I showed up for 10 minutes every day, praying about the things that I felt God laying on my heart. As I prayed, I saw God move and answer some of my prayers. That is what encouraged me to keep going. There have been moments and days where I showed up not knowing how to pray. Seeing God meet me in those moments are some of my favorite. I found that asking God to show me how to pray, and be near to me as I learn, continues to be part of the process. 

Now, do you need a prayer journal to have a deeper prayer life? No, I don’t believe you do. But I found that having a place to record what I want to pray for each month very helpful. I also really love how it has helped me pray more specifically. My favorite aspect of the journal is being able to record the ways God has answered prayers and see how He is faithful throughout the year.

I say all that to encourage you wherever you may be in your walk with God and your prayer time, there is hope. You can start with a notebook and writing down prayer requests. Start with just 10 minutes every day, working up to longer. Pray boldly, maybe especially if you are scared. Write down the ways you see God answering those prayers, and watch how He deepens not only your walk with Him but also how sweet prayer time can be. It may not start out feeling like something you want to do, but as you continue to show up each day, it gets a bit easier.

Deepening your prayer life takes more than just wanting to do so. It requires intentionality. It means being willing to show up even when it is hard. God will help you, you only need to ask.

Why Our Thought Lives Matter

We listen to the words we think and tell ourselves the loudest. Studies have shown that a very large percentage of the things we are telling ourselves is negative. Often these thoughts are rooted in lies that we have heard from others or told ourselves. How do we go about changing what we think and believe about ourselves? How do we expose the lies for what they truly are?

We need to know what is true before we can spot what is untrue. The way we can do this is by steeping ourselves in the Word of God. Allow what He says about us to be at the forefront of our minds. That means prioritizing our time with God, being in His Word daily, and let it become the soundtrack in our minds. When we do this, it becomes much easier to spot what is a lie and what is truth.

Sometimes this means bringing the things we are thinking into the spotlight by talking about them with someone. Lies enjoy the darkness, and when brought forth into the light aren't able to stand for very long.

This past year I have wrestled with why we struggle so much with believing lies about ourselves. But when you look at the Garden of Eden, and how the Devil inserted lies where truth should have been, it is not that difficult to understand why we so easily believe the lies we are presented. He tells us subtle lies to change our perception of what is true. This is where our trouble begins. We begin to believe the lies the Devil sells to us, and doubt the only one who is Truth.

One of my favorite things my therapist told me this past year as we worked through different beliefs I held about myself was "What would this mean about me if this were true?" By asking myself this when I am feeling or thinking something negative about myself, and then looking at what God says about me has been a tremendous help in uncovering lies that I believe about myself. I liken it to the lie hiding in a room all covered up. But when I approach it by asking what it means if this is true about me and bringing truth into the picture, the sheet is pulled off the lie and it is exposed. By exposing the lie, it doesn't take the space in that room anymore, and usually, it is a lot smaller than it portrays itself to be.

Different verses come to mind when I think of the importance of our thought lives. Romans 12:2 talks about not being conformed to this age but instead be transformed by the renewing of our mind. The reason to renew our mind is to be able to discern the will of God. What we choose to think about matters. The other verses that come to mind when I think about being mindful of my thoughts are the ones in Philippians 4:5-9.

Let your graciousness be known to everyone. The Lord is near. Don’t worry about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable—if there is any moral excellence and if there is anything praiseworthy—dwell on these things. Do what you have learned and received and heard from me, and seen in me, and the God of peace will be with you. -Philippians 4:5-9 (CSB)

Our thoughts can so easily run our lives if we don't monitor them. They can be given the power to run our lives, taking over our words and actions, feelings, and emotions, including our peace and happiness. When we dwell on what has disappointed us, the hurtful and angering things people do, it is easy to get caught in a tide of negative thoughts. When we think negative thoughts, it can lead to negative feelings, which can result in believing only negative things about our lives. The quality of our thoughts determines the quality of our lives.

Coming back to the verses in Philippians, I find it encouraging to have a list of what sorts of things are helpful to dwell on. Seeing how easy it can be to dwell on negative thoughts, I find it helpful to check with myself about my thoughts. Are the thoughts running through my head more negative than positive? Am I focusing on the lies that are so easy to believe or on the truth of who God says I am in Him?

What we allow our minds to focus on plays out in our minds, and eventually shapes who we become. Today we can choose what we desire our thought lives to look like. I won't guarantee that it will be easy, but I can guarantee it will be worth it.

Acknowledging Abuse

Abuse. It is a painful, ugly word for anyone who has experienced it at the hand of another person. Regardless of what type, abuse carries long-lasting effects that take time to heal. It can be easy to think that abuse is something that happens elsewhere, surely not to anyone we are close to or know. Unfortunately, the statistics of abuse are very high.

I know what it feels like to be emotionally abused by being told that I am worthless. I know what it feels like to be physically abused, to be shaken by and scared of a person who should be safe. I know what it feels like to be verbally abused. When the person doing the abusing is someone who is an authority figure in your life, it can be so easy to begin believing that you deserve what is happening, when that is far from the truth.

For a long time, I was unwilling and unable to acknowledge that what I had experienced as a child was abuse. But ignoring what happened will not make it go away. As a child whose family dynamics looked so different from what I saw in families around me, I realized that what I saw in my family wasn't normal, but I didn't know how to change it.

It can be so easy to dismiss someone's story when it looks different from your own. It is easier to look into a situation and pass judgment than to step into the mess and be there. But when someone is in the middle of abuse, sometimes all they need are for people to sit and listen, to feel supported, even though that can be so hard. It is not easy sitting by someone in pain when it feels like there is not much you can do to change their circumstances. But I promise you, your presence and support mean the world to them.

So often our response to messy situations is to sweep them under the rug because that feels easier than to step in and help. But when we do nothing, we are doing more harm than good. I have been in therapy for the last year to deal with the trauma that childhood abuse has left behind. In working through the impact that childhood abuse and trauma leave, I have learned that being silent helps no one but the abuser. Any shame that may have come from being abused is not for me to carry. Any responsibility for that abuse belongs to the abuser, not to me.

Silence is never the answer when it comes to abuse. It may seem like the easier option, but I promise you, in the end, it does more harm. You may ask yourself; how do I help someone I know that is in an abusive situation? My encouragement to you is to be there for them. Pray for them, support them, listen to them, and ultimately, believe them. It won't be easy, but it will be worth it.

Overcoming Shame

Shame is something we each have felt at some point in our lives. Shame is different from guilt, in that shame is the feeling that "I am bad," whereas guilt is "I did something bad." Shame is rooted in our belief of lacking value or worth. Guilt is rooted in our mistakes. Guilt is healthy; it helps us make better choices, and move in a positive direction. Shame is toxic; it makes us feel worthless and makes us avoid the people and situations we need to face. Guilt moves us to improve ourselves. Shame immobilizes us.

Shame colors how we view ourselves. Shame says we are worthless, inadequate, and unwanted. These messages usually come from trauma or abuse, childhood experiences, things we are told, or other life experiences. When we view ourselves through these lenses and continually tell ourselves these things, we begin to view them as fact. Shame grows when kept to yourself.

You can't run from shame. It stays with you like a grey cloud that colors everything around you. The best antidote for shame is honesty and transparency with those you trust. Yes, we all make mistakes and fail in some way. Failing doesn't mean you are a failure. The mistakes you make DO NOT define you. If you have done something wrong, admit it, and make it right. Don't run or hide from it. If you do run and hide, you will end up alone.

Dealing with shame is not easy. Often the road is long and dark. Walking through the feelings of shame can make you feel alone. It can be difficult to see that something better lies on the other side. I have found that the best way to deal with shame and its feelings is to expose and confront it head-on. So often we hide it because it feels so ugly, scary, and unforgivable. But bringing it into the light is the only way to make the darkness leave. 

Shame likes to keep us isolated, anxious, and hidden. We were not built for that. We were built to live in community and relationships. Genesis shows us that God lives in community with Jesus and the Holy Spirit. God also shows us that man was not created to be alone. Through both these examples, God shows us we are created to be fully and deeply known.

When shame is exposed to the truth of who God created us to be, and the example He has shown us, it cannot stand up to that. Shame would have us believe we are worthless, unwanted, and inadequate. In Christ, we are new creations, His children, deeply known and loved. He says that in Him we are valued, accepted, loved, and fully known. Christ desires that we would break free from the hold shame has on us. It is possible with His help and with the support and help of those around you.

Identity

Shame leaves me wanting,

worthless, inadequate,

and unwanted.

Too easily defined 

by words powerful

but untrue.

Christ says in Him

I'm valued, accepted,

and enough.

Balm to our soul,

words spoken in love,

powerful and true.

-Ruth Ann Sommers

Lessons from Pain

God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks to us in our conscience, but shouts in our pain: it is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world. -C.S. Lewis

The past month or so I have been on this journey. A journey of the Lord showing me that suffering and pain have their purpose in life. Generally, when we think of suffering and pain, we want to run the opposite direction. But the Lord has been showing me there are so many things He desires for me to learn in those moments.
Some of those things are:

• He will never leave or forsake me. (Isaiah 42:16)
• He has a purpose for allowing the pain or suffering. (1 Peter 1:6-7; Romans 5:3-4)
• If I allow Him to work in and thru my pain, He will do a work in my heart. (1 Peter 5:10; Psalm 51:16-17)

See that last point, the one where He will do a work in my heart? In the past month, the Lord has allowed me to walk through some deep pain. It was some pain that I had to work through from my past. I wasn't sure what to do with it because for such a long time, I didn't allow people to hurt me. Or, a better way of saying it is, I just stuffed the pain somewhere deep inside and told myself I wouldn't feel it.

You see, earlier this year the Lord showed me that by stuffing my pain, I also was missing out on feeling the depths of the joy and happiness He desires for me to feel. He showed me how it was getting in the way of my drawing closer to Him and He wanted me to see the harm it was doing in my life. I asked the Lord to help me deal with the things that I hadn't allowed myself to feel. I had no idea where that would lead.

Fast forward to this past month. God allowed some painful memories to crop up from my past. My initial reaction to it was, I am not going to feel this or think about this. I am so thankful that the Lord didn't allow me to stay there. He reminded me of what I had asked Him to do earlier. I told Him that I don't know what to do with the pain. He gently showed me that I needed to forgive the source of the pain and that I needed to feel the pain. There were no shortcuts nor was it easy but I can tell you, IT IS WORTH IT!!

I saw through this time that you can try to stuff the pain down deep, ignore the pain, and even numb it but it WON'T go away. It will stay there, waiting for you to deal with it and feel it. And you know, yes, it hurt a lot to feel the pain and it definitely wasn't easy. But the Lord was WITH me the entire time (even though I will say I had to grapple with Him for allowing it in the first place). He also showed me that by allowing Him to work through the pain, it is ultimately for my good and HIS glory. He was using the pain to show me areas in my life that I needed to surrender to Him. He wants my whole heart, even the part that was/is hurting. He wants to heal and redeem that part of me and then use what I have gone through to bring honor to Him.

So my challenge to you is this. When the Lord brings you to a place of pain, allows suffering or hardship, allow Him to do the work in you that He wants to do. Don't fight it because that only prolongs the healing and redemption! It may not be easy and it most likely will be painful, but the reward in the end is a closer walk with Him and a heart that is more free to feel joy and happiness.