Respect and Control

 

I had two other blog posts I was going to write but the one is slipping my mind but the other one I plan to write after I get this one off my mind. The subject of respect has been on my mind a lot lately. Respect is something that is so vital to human relationships and the more I read God's Word among other books, the more I realize how vital it is! Between reading God's Word and this book, Created to Be His Help Meet by Debi Pearl, God has really shown me what respect is and how it applies to my life. This book is geared for married woman but as I just started dating, it has really helped me view how respect is so important not only between a husband and wife but also between courting couples. It is not only important to them, but also important between friends and family members.

 

This is what the dictionaries definition is for respect.

re·spect noun

a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements.

 

I was talking to my cousin this evening and we have talked about this subject before, usually thinking of the respect we want to have for our fathers and what that looks like but also the respect we want to have for our friends. We were discussing about how control and respect really can't go hand in hand. Someone who is controlling someone else, in the aspect of friends, generally doesn't have a very high level of respect of the other person. I really had to think of some different situations that I know of that there is a controlling person and if you really think about what respect is and how respect plays out in a relationship, the person controlling generally gets what they want/demand regardless of the other person's feelings. And the person being controlled probably has a lower level of respect for the person controlling and probably has a harder time trying to or even wanting to respect the other person. When you have respect in a relationship between friends, usually that means that if one person wants one thing and the other wants something different, there is compromise although I do believe there is a time and place for one person to step forward and say this is how we are doing it. I think of my closest friends and the respect I have for them and how they have been a great influence in my life. I am so thankful for the respect that we have for each other!

 

As I say all the above, I have to think too, that though respect is not always something we want to give, it isn't necessarily something we can always give based on a person's performance. When I think of my relationship with my dad, his actions don't always deserve respect but as my father, I still need to respect him. And by respecting him, I am honoring God. I can honestly say that since my attitude has changed toward my dad and that I am trying harder at respecting him regardless of how his actions or treatment of me is, my relationship with him is better. I know I did not do it on my own, it is God doing His work in my life!! God does and will honor the respect we show to those who are in authority over us even if those people's actions make us want to disrespect them.

 

Respect is really a big subject and I think it looks different for different kinds of relationships (as far as between husband and wife, a courting couple, friends, and family) and I am still digesting everything that I am learning but I feel it is something that is very important and definitely something to think about!