Respect and Control

 

I had two other blog posts I was going to write but the one is slipping my mind but the other one I plan to write after I get this one off my mind. The subject of respect has been on my mind a lot lately. Respect is something that is so vital to human relationships and the more I read God's Word among other books, the more I realize how vital it is! Between reading God's Word and this book, Created to Be His Help Meet by Debi Pearl, God has really shown me what respect is and how it applies to my life. This book is geared for married woman but as I just started dating, it has really helped me view how respect is so important not only between a husband and wife but also between courting couples. It is not only important to them, but also important between friends and family members.

 

This is what the dictionaries definition is for respect.

re·spect noun

a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements.

 

I was talking to my cousin this evening and we have talked about this subject before, usually thinking of the respect we want to have for our fathers and what that looks like but also the respect we want to have for our friends. We were discussing about how control and respect really can't go hand in hand. Someone who is controlling someone else, in the aspect of friends, generally doesn't have a very high level of respect of the other person. I really had to think of some different situations that I know of that there is a controlling person and if you really think about what respect is and how respect plays out in a relationship, the person controlling generally gets what they want/demand regardless of the other person's feelings. And the person being controlled probably has a lower level of respect for the person controlling and probably has a harder time trying to or even wanting to respect the other person. When you have respect in a relationship between friends, usually that means that if one person wants one thing and the other wants something different, there is compromise although I do believe there is a time and place for one person to step forward and say this is how we are doing it. I think of my closest friends and the respect I have for them and how they have been a great influence in my life. I am so thankful for the respect that we have for each other!

 

As I say all the above, I have to think too, that though respect is not always something we want to give, it isn't necessarily something we can always give based on a person's performance. When I think of my relationship with my dad, his actions don't always deserve respect but as my father, I still need to respect him. And by respecting him, I am honoring God. I can honestly say that since my attitude has changed toward my dad and that I am trying harder at respecting him regardless of how his actions or treatment of me is, my relationship with him is better. I know I did not do it on my own, it is God doing His work in my life!! God does and will honor the respect we show to those who are in authority over us even if those people's actions make us want to disrespect them.

 

Respect is really a big subject and I think it looks different for different kinds of relationships (as far as between husband and wife, a courting couple, friends, and family) and I am still digesting everything that I am learning but I feel it is something that is very important and definitely something to think about!

Father Day, Instruction, and the Ultimate Father

Father's Day. The one day that is set aside to remember our fathers. They are the ones that should provide the leadership in the home, security, and spiritual instruction. There are times that the father isn't present or doesn't do his job but we still need to honour him regardless of that. I am thankful for the father God has given me. Although he has his failings, just like any other person, I try to honour him to the best of my ability. I had to think, what are some ways we can show our fathers we are thankful for them?

One way to show that we are thankful for them, is to listen to the instruction that that they give to you. This is not always easy especially if your think that he doesn't know what he is talking about or if he is not a Christian and gives you ungodly advice. Regardless, we should still listen to the advice they give and be respectful about it. The Bible says:

"My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother:" -Proverbs 1:8

I believe that fathers need respect (mothers do too) and this is one way we can show that respect to them. For me it can be quite hard to listen to the advice my father gives me, but I have asked God to help me to honour and respect my father. God has helped me a lot in this area and I am much better at listening to the advice my father does give me, with God's help!

 

I also believe that if we listen to our father's advice, regardless of what we think of it, it will help our relationship with our father, as well as in some ways, help us in our walk of life. Fathers often do have good advice and sometimes it keeps us from making the same mistakes. :)

 

The one neat thing about this whole thing is, even if our earthly father is failing in his duty, we have the Ultimate Father, God! He never fails, never will leave, or forsake us. God has been an awesome Father to me and he will supply my every need if I only ask! :)

Mother's Day and Honour

Mother's Day. The one day of the year that is set aside to remember our mothers. They are the ones who gave birth to us, although in some cases, mothers are those who raised us or were a big influence in our lives. I am thankful for the mother God has given to me, that she is a Godly mother, and has set a Godly example for me to follow. I wouldn't be who I am or where I am if she hadn't prayed for me or not have set the example she did. So are you thankful for your mother? I know I am! On Sunday I was thinking about some of the ways that we can show our mothers that we are thankful for them.

One of the most important ways we can show our mothers that we are thankful for them is to honor them. The Bible says that we are to honor our father and mother.

"Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth." -Ephesians 6:2-3 

I know is some cases it might not be easy to honour your mother (and father) but it is what God commands us to do. For me it is harder to honour my father than my mother but the principle applies to both parents. I prayed about honouring my father and God helped me to honour him even though it wasn't easy. There still are times that I still struggle with honouring my parents but I just need to ask God for help to honour them and he gives me the patience and will to do so.

 

I believe if we honour our parents it will make things easier for us as children as well as making our parents jobs easier. And honouring ones parents doesn't just apply to when we live under their roof. It also applies to us once we move away from home or get married.

 

There are other ways we can show our thanks but I think honouring them and obeying them are very big ways of showing them our thanks for them. They also will mean so much to your mother! Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers out there!